Lessons Learned While Sitting at the Oceanside, CA DMV for 1 Hour and 17 Minutes

 #1. Just because all your clothes are the different shades of the same color does not mean they match.

#2. A lot of women don't feel the need to wear a bra... and that is wrong.

#3. Many people don't feel its necessary to shower every day, every week, or even ever for that matter.

#4. Even though you walk around the DMV wearing only your swim shorts and  carrying a 7 ft. long surfboard, it still doesn't make you a serious surfer. It makes you a shirtless freak.

#5. Avoid Veronica at window 11 at ALL costs. Luckily I got Brenda at window 3.

And a note to Jim ... Just because I picked the empty seat next to you (it was the only one for miles!) does not mean that I want to talk to you or hear all about hunting trips with your dog. Not to be rude, but I don't care.

Do You Need Anything From the Store?

Anytime anyone asks me this I always want to give this answer. I have on a few ocassions said this and people look at me like I am a freak (which I am at times, I will admit). But I loved this as a kid, and my family still quotes this to each other.

And When I'm Scared At Night ...

So I am home for a little visit. We started talking about shows I used to watch when I was little and suddenly thought of all my favorite Sesame Street songs from childhood. I loved the little girl in the yellow leotard who taught me that it takes a lot of little nuts to make a jar of peanut butter, and Ernie and his tap dancing sheep for dancing me off to sleep. But this one was probably one of my favorites.

My favorite part is the little boy who holds his teddy tight! I loved this song! Just hearing it makes me want to pull out my My Little Ponys and have a snack.

The Yellow Smiley Face Gives Me a Migraine

I hate Wal-Mart! I think it smells, it is dirty and disorgnized and it reeks! I had to go there yesterday and the whole time I was there I just kept thinking how much I hate it and how much it smells! I swear I need to shower and air out my nostrils after being in there for 5 minutes. It makes me want to swim in a vat of Purell and huff an entire can of Febreeze. There are always weird people and it smells like old fried chicken and nastiness. I really do not like it.

Target ... I'm sorry. I'll never cheat on you again.

I Love a Girl Who's Not Afraid to Wear Leg Warmers

Monday night was the premiere of what I know is going to be one of my new favorite shows... MTV presents LEGALLY BLONDE: The search for the Next Elle Woods (Could they have made a longer title?!)

That is right. It is Broadway + reality show + talent competition .... Did someone read my dream journal?

There are a few things that I am going to love:

It features one of my FAV people of all time, Seth Rudetsky, as musical director (He makes me laugh hysterically a lot of the time)

They call Hailey Duff a triple threat (that also makes me laugh hysterically ... Do they know who Hailey Duff really is?)

Listening to Legally Blonde music every monday (although let's be honest ... the entire show is still saved on my tivo just so I can watch my boyfriend Christian sing "Little Miss Woods, Elle" every few days)

So watch on Monday nights kids. I know I will be making lots of comments ...

Goodbye My Friend ...

I woke up this morning to the news that my beloved friend ... the Universal Studios King Kong ride ... was long gone. So Sad! 

Goodbye friend. Your banana Pez breath will be missed.

Day from Hell ...

Do any of you remember this book from childhood? Well, this was my day today! It was an AWFUL day! You name it and it happened. As I was working through my lunch break trying to restore computers, I was trying to remember why I like my job. I was reminded of an experience I had at work a few months ago. 

We have a patient who we will call Stacy. She came in one day with a toothache and her 80 something year old Granny accompanying her. As I was checking Stacy out her Granny was on the cell phone in front of my coworkers desk. I got her co-pay and gave her a prescription. As they walked out my co-worker heard Granny say "Don't worry about getting anything. Stacy just scored us some Lortab."  WHAT??? Who knew Granny was a druggie?! We laughed so hard.

To make my day better I pampered myself. So thank you to Yen for the HEAVENLY hot stone pedicure, to Magelby's for the coconut mahi mahi and to the bathroom radio station for playing the theme song from The Greatest American Hero while I was doing my business. Nothing makes my spirits soar more then singing "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air" while washing my hands.