Thursday, May 8, 2008

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Listen ... It is a well known fact that I do not enjoy the animal population of the world. I don't enjoy the smells and I do not think they are mans' best friend. I think they have finally figured it out and they have stuck the dog mafia on me. 

In the last 3 days I have had to stop 4 times ... count it... 4 TIMES for dogs running out in front of my car. I have had to slam on my brakes all 4 times in order to not kill Fido. Everything in my car has been thrown into the front. I even lost my precious Route 44 Diet Coke with Lime during one of the fast brakes! 

I feel like finally the dogs of the world have had it with my insensitivity and have sent out the word through Pongo and Perdita and their mutt cronies. They are out to get me! I feel like Lorelai did on the video below when the cat mafia started to haunt her life.




Today one of my coworkers brought her dachshund in. She asked if I wanted to pet it. I kindly declined, but said from afar "Oh, she's cute though" in my fake-pretend-I-like-animals voice. I swear that dog smirked at me. 

I guess I am going to have to feed a stray or save one from the pound to get back in their good graces. Can I just sign Oprahs puppy mill petition? Or maybe walk a lap around Pet Smart and wave at the puppies in the cages? 

They really are after me ...

4 comments:

Calli said...

Did I mention that while I realize I'm very behind, I have recently developed a slight addiction to the Gilmore Girls and I watch it everyday because I've never seen it before so I don't know what is going to happen. So thanks for that clip, even though I saw it a few weeks ago. Also, don't go to Pets Mart. It is stinky. And just so you know, there are boys out there (like the Loveless trio) who are very grateful that there are non-pet lover girls out there like you. It gives them hope. Both the bachelors say it's a definate 'deal breaker'. NO PETS ALLOWED.

The Pratts said...

Oh my goodness, I love that clip, so funny!

I am with you I don't really like animals. I tried a fish for Emma, about a year ago and found myself wishing it would die within a few weeks. I already change 2 kids diapers, like I need another thing to clean up after. I say next time the dog mafia gets in front of you - STEP ON IT! It will set a precedence for the next in line to get in your way. I mean really, you let a Route 44 go down for a DOG, I am disappointed. If they are really as intelligent as dog lovers say they are, then dogs should know to stay out of the road when cars are there. Chew on that bone fiddo!

Cami said...

Hey, I just discovered your blog. I guess we're all jumping on the band wagon. And by the way, who was the one who decided it would be fun to own a dachshund? Oh, my sister-in-law just sent me a picture of her brand new puppy. Yeah, the one that looks like a large black bear when full-grown. Why?

Rebecca Woolston said...

oh my! I hate that I saw Oprah's episode about the dog mills, and I know exactly what you meant and the lady that lives on Long Island with over 200 animals that she takes care of! It is ok you don't like them, Mei Mei is a blessed animal but not everyone is as lucky as us :)