I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair ...

So in 2nd grade I had a crush on a boy named Greg. He became my "boyfriend" when he picked me to sit in the reading bathtub with him in the reading corner. But a few days later he told me he liked my best friend Leah more and asked her if she wanted to play on the monkey bars right in front of me. So rude!

So that night at home while taking my bath I decided I was going to wash him out of my hair. In my sweet little naive Broadway soul I really thought I could "send him on his way" and I wouldn't have to sit by him the next day. I remember scrubbing my head so hard, and getting in trouble for using too much shampoo.

The next day I was crushed when I saw Greg sitting in his seat. It hadn't worked! But at recess Melvin and Jesse both told me I looked cute in my Brownie uniform so it turned out to be a pretty good day.

I Can't Kick the Habit!

I did it again. I went to Wal-Mart on Saturday night (Dang you Sam Walton for making your stores so easy and accesible!). While there I smelled smells that I didn't know existed and saw a Bride and Groom there in their wedding clothes. Why?! So not appropriate. 

My fav part of the trip is when I realized that when texting Walmart my phones predictive text spells Walnast! So appropriate! Even my phone knows what for some reason I cannot remember.

Shout Out ...

Todays shout out goes to my friend and coworker Becky for giving me two of my favorite expressions ...

"Son of a Motherless Goat"  and "From Hell to Breakfast"

Thanks Becks for keeping me sane everyday, making me laugh, and paying for my coke (or giving the lady a big tip!). I love your Payson lingo!

By The Way ...

Just in case you were worried about Courtney and I eating ourselves into a PMS driven processed food induced coma ... have no fear. Today I have only eaten fruits and veggies. I just didn't want you to think that we were going to turn into Gilbert Grapes' mother. 

Don't Judge People!

So tonight Court and I went to the grocery store to do some shopping and find something yummy and healthy to make for dinner. We looked over our recipes, made our lists and headed to the store. As we drove there we commiserated about our lives and discussed our frustrations about the world. (Why does it always have to be someone awkward holding the Little Ceasers' sign and dancing? Why do people put dumb bumper stickers on their cars?) As we walked through the store there were plenty of weird people to keep us entertained, and a whole lot of BAD hair. First, tomatoes were ridiculously expensive and were bruised, green, or ugly. Then, they were out of asparagus. What grocery store is out of asparagus?! Then some lady accidently threw a lemon on the floor in front of me and I almost lost my life in the produce section. To make a long story short, by the time we left the store we were frustrated with everyone around us and tired. For dinner we had hot dogs and nachos. Don't judge people. Don't judge. 

Childhood Love

As I was walking at the park today there were some little girls in front of me riding their scooters and talking about which boys in their class were cute and which ones they hoped to sit by next year. It made me laugh to listen to them and I began to reminisce about my own childhood loves.

In 4th grade a boy sang the chorus of Billy Oceans' "Get Out of My Dreams, and Into My Car" to me and then asked me if I would ride in his moms car on our field trip to Bates Nut Farm. I agreed and we sat next to each other in total silence. We completely ignored each other and avoided eye contact. A few days later at lunch, probably in a desperate attempt to get my attention, he threw a chicken nugget at me. I was infuriated, so I did what I knew I had to do. I squashed his little boy ego by beating him at handball. We ignored each other for the rest of the year. (Actually, now that I think of it I don't think we ever spoke in high school either. I like to think its because every time he looked at me he shuddered at the thought of my incredible handball prowess.)

In 7th grade I LOVED this cute boy named Richard. We would sit by each other on the bus, and one day he asked me if I wanted to "go out" with him. I said yes. Two days later I found out that he was passing notes to a cute girl named Nicole. I told him it was over and wouldn't let him sit by me on the bus. He spent the next week telling everyone that I liked the weird kid Patrick who ran around with nutty bars shoved up his nose. I don't think I've eaten a nutty bar since. 

Um... I'm Kind of Excited

I won't lie. I am secretly excited to watch Wipeout and I Survived a Japanese Game Show. I was laughing watching the commercial tonight. My favorite quote came from the women, who as they were pulling her out of the water said, "I knew I shouldn't have eaten that burrito". Oh, it is going to be good times!

I Love the West Wing!

I have recently changed my ring tone to the theme song from The West Wing. I know it has been over for awhile, but I LOVED that show. I especially loved my boyfriend Bradley Whitford as Josh Lyman. Such a fabulous show! I wish I could really vote for President Bartlett and his fabulous cabinet. When my friends and I took a tour of the real West Wing last year I was sad to not see Josh Lyman there. Why can't the West Wing be my reality?

My Opinions Always Matter ...

I know that no one really cares, but I have a few things to say to the Bachelorette Deanna.

 You're not my favorite. I don't think you have much of a personality, and sometimes the things you say sound insincere, but I am rooting for you. 

I don't think you should have gotten rid of Graham. (BTW ... this picture does not do him justice.) I know he had some issues, but I think he was the one you really loved. Plus, his mom reminded me of my 6th grade teacher Mrs. Ferrante (who by the way made all my dreams come true when she took me to meet my childhood crush, Eric Kunze. How could you not fall in love with him when he played Jack in Into the Woods? Oh, how I loved him!) I mean I know his last name is Bunn, but we could have over looked that. I am very disappointed in you!

This means you have to pick Jason. He is the kindest, and the most genuine and sincere. Although, I won't lie that it creeped me out when his grown family played leap frog. Really? That didn't give you the d.o.c.s'?  

I am still shocked that you kept the snowboarder over Graham. Who lied to you?

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my cute little brother Dave today! I love him for his sense of humor, his mad guitar hero skills, and his big heart. Love ya Dave! Hope you had a great day.

And the Tony Goes to ...

So it is finally time for me to post some great pics from the Tony party last week.

When people entered the house they grabbed a ballot and a name tag to list the name of their dream role.

Here is our table where the candle lighting ceremony took place. Each person said a line from a Broadway show as they lit a candle to the Jewish god of Broadway (AKA Seth Rudetsky) and our friend Bryan who is out on tour with Wicked and who we missed.

The sky of stars!

Everyone had to take their picture giving their acceptance speech. This is my great roomie Courtney.

Congrats to Jenn for winning the In the Heights prize! Arriba, Arriba!

Congrats to JoJo for winning the 39 Steps prize. Oh, Sherlock!

And to Natalie for winning the Crybaby award for getting the least amount right! It's my party, but you can cry if you want to.

The gang!

Laura Bell Bundy (the star of Broadways Legally Blonde) made an appearance and the boys were smitten! I'm what you want Harvard, I'm the girl for you!

We all had a great time. Even my cute sister Emily (who I am sure was a little bored!). And I need to give a great shout out to Patti Lupone. I was SO happy that she won the Tony. Viva la Patti!

Get Smart!

After seeing Get Smart tonight, Steve Carrell is my new boyfriend! Such a great movie. I loved it!

Who Lied?

I saw this in a parking lot today. So ugly! Who would buy this? Who lied???

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Dear Couple on Aisle 6,

I know that teenage love can be quite tumultuous, but let me give you some words of advice. The grocery store is no place to break up. Andrea, I understand that you were frustrated that your boyfriend text Sarah, but he was only doing it because Brian wanted her to come to the party! Not because he likes her! And I understand that you wanted an explanation, but did you need to get it while standing in front of the salad dressing I needed? I even went and finished all the rest of my shopping and then came back and you were still hashing it out! You didn't even feel the need to move when I awkwardly stood staring at you! Here are some words of wisdom ... don't break up over a text and don't do it at the grocery store. But if you can't help it at least stand in front of items no one wants ... like pickled pigs feet or Funyuns.

Sincerely,

Desperately in Need of Some Ranch

TONYS!TONYS!TONYS!

And I don't mean Tony Danza! Tomorrow night are the Tony awards. I love the Tonys! My house is decorated for the party and I am going to fill out my ballot. I have been listening to Broadway all week on the ipod in preparation. I will post pictures to show you all the madness later this week. I really hope Patti Lupone wins. Corky would be SO proud! We will see if Cubby was right and Xanadu wins. I can't wait!

So Sad!

I am very sad about Tim Russert. I loved him! I loved his sense of humor and his drive to get to the answers when he interviewed. I often set my Tivo to record Meet the Press to watch him interview. As I scrubbed my kitchen floor this morning I turned on MSNBC and listened to all the kind words people shared. I was moved to tears as people spoke about his kindness and generosity. I know that watching the rest of the coverage on this election will not be the same without him. He will be greatly missed.

Should Have Been My First Clue ...

I broke my own personal vow and went to Wal Mart again. I know, I know... but I was with my mother and she insisted. The one we went to was relatively new, so the funk wasn't so horribly overwhelming. But as we were checking out I died when I saw that the lady who was ringing us up was wearing latex gloves! She didn't want to touch the stuff! You know it's bad when the employees don't even want to touch the merchandise! Lesson learned.

WHY???

Why must we listen to her?! She drives me INSANE!

Lessons Learned While Sitting at the Oceanside, CA DMV for 1 Hour and 17 Minutes

 #1. Just because all your clothes are the different shades of the same color does not mean they match.

#2. A lot of women don't feel the need to wear a bra... and that is wrong.

#3. Many people don't feel its necessary to shower every day, every week, or even ever for that matter.

#4. Even though you walk around the DMV wearing only your swim shorts and  carrying a 7 ft. long surfboard, it still doesn't make you a serious surfer. It makes you a shirtless freak.

#5. Avoid Veronica at window 11 at ALL costs. Luckily I got Brenda at window 3.

And a note to Jim ... Just because I picked the empty seat next to you (it was the only one for miles!) does not mean that I want to talk to you or hear all about hunting trips with your dog. Not to be rude, but I don't care.

Do You Need Anything From the Store?

Anytime anyone asks me this I always want to give this answer. I have on a few ocassions said this and people look at me like I am a freak (which I am at times, I will admit). But I loved this as a kid, and my family still quotes this to each other.

And When I'm Scared At Night ...

So I am home for a little visit. We started talking about shows I used to watch when I was little and suddenly thought of all my favorite Sesame Street songs from childhood. I loved the little girl in the yellow leotard who taught me that it takes a lot of little nuts to make a jar of peanut butter, and Ernie and his tap dancing sheep for dancing me off to sleep. But this one was probably one of my favorites.

My favorite part is the little boy who holds his teddy tight! I loved this song! Just hearing it makes me want to pull out my My Little Ponys and have a snack.

The Yellow Smiley Face Gives Me a Migraine

I hate Wal-Mart! I think it smells, it is dirty and disorgnized and it reeks! I had to go there yesterday and the whole time I was there I just kept thinking how much I hate it and how much it smells! I swear I need to shower and air out my nostrils after being in there for 5 minutes. It makes me want to swim in a vat of Purell and huff an entire can of Febreeze. There are always weird people and it smells like old fried chicken and nastiness. I really do not like it.

Target ... I'm sorry. I'll never cheat on you again.

I Love a Girl Who's Not Afraid to Wear Leg Warmers

Monday night was the premiere of what I know is going to be one of my new favorite shows... MTV presents LEGALLY BLONDE: The search for the Next Elle Woods (Could they have made a longer title?!)

That is right. It is Broadway + reality show + talent competition .... Did someone read my dream journal?

There are a few things that I am going to love:

It features one of my FAV people of all time, Seth Rudetsky, as musical director (He makes me laugh hysterically a lot of the time)

They call Hailey Duff a triple threat (that also makes me laugh hysterically ... Do they know who Hailey Duff really is?)

Listening to Legally Blonde music every monday (although let's be honest ... the entire show is still saved on my tivo just so I can watch my boyfriend Christian sing "Little Miss Woods, Elle" every few days)

So watch on Monday nights kids. I know I will be making lots of comments ...

Goodbye My Friend ...

I woke up this morning to the news that my beloved friend ... the Universal Studios King Kong ride ... was long gone. So Sad! 

Goodbye friend. Your banana Pez breath will be missed.

Day from Hell ...

Do any of you remember this book from childhood? Well, this was my day today! It was an AWFUL day! You name it and it happened. As I was working through my lunch break trying to restore computers, I was trying to remember why I like my job. I was reminded of an experience I had at work a few months ago. 

We have a patient who we will call Stacy. She came in one day with a toothache and her 80 something year old Granny accompanying her. As I was checking Stacy out her Granny was on the cell phone in front of my coworkers desk. I got her co-pay and gave her a prescription. As they walked out my co-worker heard Granny say "Don't worry about getting anything. Stacy just scored us some Lortab."  WHAT??? Who knew Granny was a druggie?! We laughed so hard.

To make my day better I pampered myself. So thank you to Yen for the HEAVENLY hot stone pedicure, to Magelby's for the coconut mahi mahi and to the bathroom radio station for playing the theme song from The Greatest American Hero while I was doing my business. Nothing makes my spirits soar more then singing "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air" while washing my hands.